It’s International Women’s day.
Here are a few who helped me define my femininity. Who continue to buck trends, push boundaries and be their authentic proud selves.
On this IWD I feel some sense of disappointment. That I still have to explain. Quotas. Why we need Women’s leadership. Why it’s so hard to get both women and men to recognize our worth and value. Why if I don’t do housework my house turns in to a bin. Why if I’m not nice I’m scary. Why my anger is so frightening, when maybe it’s just confronting. Why I feel worthless and afraid. Why giving myself credit feels scandalous. Why my modesty is valued higher than my fierce, bright acknowledgment of my own value. Why I feel the pain of women around the world (men too but it’s a different thing). See I wasn’t a Princess. I was more an Ugly Sister. With resting bitch face, masculine ambition and a wild loving force that could be mistaken for something to be feared, rejected or hated. Maybe you had that too. Too much. Too bossy. Too big. Too extrovert. Too loud. Too visible. Too much. Too confident. Too sensitive. Too emotional. Not worthy of Princess love.
And I look at these people and they bring me back. To creativity to living fierce bold stylishly confronting lives. To myself. And they remind me. This time, this place, this privilege you were born into. You can do it all. Have it all. Be it all. There’s a place for you. Here in Japan. There in the U.K. These places they have a space for you. No danger beyond the barbs, judgements and underhand remarks of others. And your own mad mind.
That’s why I have a job. I want to be useful. Bring women fully alive into their expressed glory. No matter how scandalous and exactly how that looks to them. It may not be easy. It’s not easy not being conservative. Having an opinion. Taking risks and acknowledging your own worth. Playing in the mainstream. But I wouldn’t want it any other way.
And this crew. They remind me how to be a woman. Sexy, individual. With agency, years, flesh, ecstasy, feelings, the most excellent of the men, the fullest of the women. Who can handle, love, nurture, play, recognize, encourage all the people who play at the ends of the bell curve.