This has been my absolute obsession this summer. Remove as many things from the schedule as possible and have large swathes of open space in my days to do whatever needs to emerge.
My extremely skilled coach asked me, after taking me through a really intense process “What needs to emerge”? and I thought and I got quiet and the word that came up was quite simple:
Nothing needs to emerge.
Perhaps nothingness would be more understandable in this era of made-up words (although I suppose all of them are made up. I digress. Let’s go with nothing).
Rest like it’s your goddam job; days of watching “Call the Midwife” and absorbing the lived experience of what it was like to have one phone for an entire street. To receive and write letters. To read a newspaper in the morning then wait until the following day for an update.
Conversation, community, care, time, space and a different pace.
Removing as much as I could has meant days and days of open schedule. Husband on a business trip means even more time, space and freedom.
Now I realise that this is not as possible for people like my blessed assistant, Laura who has three boys under 7 and a business she runs from home. In fact anyone with small children will have interesting times deconstructing their schedule. But saying NO and creating more space, fewer playdates, networking events, dinners, lunches, things to do can help all of us.
To remove structure and create more.
Saying no is one of the most challenging things for many of my clients and comrades.
One beloved comrade told me that until recently about 90% of the things that she said yes to should have been a no. They were 70% yeses. WOAH THERE.
Kris Carr, says if it’s not a HELL YES it’s a HELL NO.
I think about 95% of the things I say yes to are kinda sorta shoulda yes. Blimey Charlie.
But when I get really tuned into my ‘Hell Yeses’ I can get really tuned into the work that I most useful at. The things that make me shine brighter and be lighter and feel better and be of more use and have a better experience in the world.
I can choose which unpaid gigs I say yes to and which ones I graciously and politely turn down. Because being in touch with your yes and your no creates a delicious clarity. I don’t get or feel exploited because I know. I just know. I feel generous because I know and I glow from the yesness of the yes. And the no can be elegant and loving and clear clear clear.
Because more no = more space = more grace = more clarity = more creation
Thank you Mr Rotten for your insight and for creativity. Because not all of us can live by the clock.
And because deconstructing opens space to create.