My goodness, it feels like my feet have not touched the ground in the past 2 months. Since September 1st, I have been to England, Ibiza, 6 airports on that trip, then in and out of Singapore 3 times, with one more trip to come as part of my study for System’s Coaching ORSC© training. In between there is much catching up, workshops, yoga retreats, lovely clients, Mamas, tears and also processing the work being done in the System’s Coaching training. It’s been a lot. Add to that that my body has started to behave in new ways; (and I’m sure there’ll be more about that in the future) I felt like I was falling apart.
And I kind of was.
In Systems Coaching we call it Myth Change. Where our story takes a turn. Story is so important to our experience and the way we show up in the world and Myth Changes can be bumpy and hard and charged but also delicious and rich and full of potential. This is why, with my coach’s hat on, I always work with story, cycles and timelines. And why I craft and redraft mine. The story I have been telling myself recently has not been so kind. Tired, bone tired, in new and unfamiliar environments and new and unfamiliar groups. It’s pushed up that little bit of dirt before my cotyledons reach to the light then fall away to reveal the next cycle of the myth and legend that is my story.
I like to look out of my window and see my plants going though their Myth Changes year in, year out. The seed that breaks the surface, pushing up a lump of dirt as the cotyledons make way for the leaves and the stalk to develop. They have one job. To carry the dirt then die off; they aren’t even the leaves that are going to grow and convert the light into plant in the end. They have one job. To break the surface and make way for the growth of the leaves that will continue the plant’s story. Until Autumn. When the story will change again, green becomes fire colours, then the leaves fall away and allow as much of the precious winter light as possible to enter through the trees. I love winter for that reason. The bare monochrome sky line of branches and twigs and deltas that fill the winter sky. Revealing scenes that will at once be covered again come the spring explosion of green.
And so, after arriving back from Singapore a week ago and having my sisters-in-law visit, my friend from Germany visit, my friend from Paris visit, and catching up with my lovely lovely clients finally, I had two days straight to do administrative work, cross check my calendars (which took hours; I’m always surprised at how long these things take, but also; trust the process), reschedule doctor’s appointments and yoga sessions (if I’m in flow I like to stay put, even if it is just boring admin, or making food to nourish my family, and by family I mean me and my husband), sell items I now longer use or need (a juicer, Prada sunglasses, a vintage rice box) and just sit and be in my home.
AND IT WAS IN THE SITTING THAT THE INSPIRATION CAME THROUGH. ON DAY TWO. Always day two – because day one is settling back into myself. Psychological sweeping up and clearing space for the creativity to arrive and take hold. Gain some traction. And day two is the key element to this. You see, creative work, and thought takes time and space. Some people meditate which is an excellent return on investment. I sit and drink tea and let space open around. I read, watch and scroll things that bring me joy then POW! It comes to me.
And this is when I was thinking.
How am I going to craft my December? Now, already we have a lot of business activity in November, December and January as they are the lead up to my flagship programme and have been in play since August, when I start planning for this stuff. But physically, spiritually and practically, how do I want December to look? My trips to Singapore will be finished, the programme will be complete (for now…), the stresses of travel (and let’s be clear here, I’m keeping it real – I am grateful for this course but it comes with stresses that I am not going to sugar coat OH AT ALL. Financial, schedule, human, emotional, spiritual, physical stresses that come out in all kinds of different ways – I’ve been struggling. Yip. I spent the entire yoga retreat I went on recently crying – it was just what I needed to be stretched in the good ways but also to just wail, gnash teeth and be loved and ignored by a set of gorgeous women who were all there for the relax and the mutual support. The good thing about being on the verge of a breakdown is you have no choice but to be authentic. And in a safe space that means melt down and receiving support. In a not so safe space it can manifest as stoicism and protection and minimum possible to just be together. You feel me?)
And so as I crafted my December, thinking about how lush and open and peaceful I want to craft it and how many celebrations there will be and what I want it to look like, I thought, as I sat on the sofa and started to write down my dream, or what I could remember of it this morning; a phrase came into my mind:
“Peace on Earth and Good Will to All”.
Amen. And so it was. And I chose, This will be my daily mantra, my daily musing and my daily contemplation for December.
Then, overwhelmed with a flood of YES, I thought “NO START NOW FURUYA”, and so I did. And below is that musing.
PEACE: Just peace, inner peace; just imagine it; peace, equity, inclusion
ON: Cycles, transformation
EARTH: Home, green, nature, art, kindness, provision
AND: Always options, faith
GOOD: God is good. HA!
WILL: Determination, grit, discipline
(Side bar: By the way, the picture below, I took on Sunday evening. On Sunday a friend and fellow coach posted EXACTLY THE SAME PICTURE TAKEN FROM EXACTLY THE SAME PLACE ON THE SAME DAY. What are the chances of that? I was so confused at first. My brain was proper clattered. I don’t get it, but magic happens sometimes. And this is how I love to live my life. In a channel of magic.)